What is Your Conflict Intelligence?
Are you aware of how you usually act when you engage in conflict? Do you have “hot buttons” that are continually pressed by others, or are you the one doing the pressing? Are you able to listen to an opposing viewpoint during an argument, or do you remain entrenched in your own?
The answers to these questions will help you to determine what conflict management practitioner and coach Cinne Noble calls your “conflict intelligence.”
An indication of how you tend to speak and behave when in an argument, Noble defines conflict intelligence as, “having the self-awareness, knowledge, and skills to be attuned to ourselves and the other person or persons with whom we are in conflict.” Increasing your conflict intelligence helps you to regulate your emotions, even when you are upset, and to communicate productively through your disagreement.
Ultimately, the more you can improve your conflict intelligence, the more peaceful and productive your relationships will become, even as you work through conflict.
So how do you go about improving your conflict intelligence? The first step is to become aware of your own conflict patterns and behaviours.
Use Noble’s self-assessment of conflict intelligence by visiting her Cinergy Coaching website, and start to identify your conflict strengths and areas to improve.